


I'm Nobody, Who Are You?

by spuffyduds



Category: due South
Genre: 100-1000 Words, Episode Related, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-07
Updated: 2010-01-07
Packaged: 2017-10-05 23:32:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spuffyduds/pseuds/spuffyduds





	I'm Nobody, Who Are You?

Ray doesn't lose it when Beth Botrelle does, because he's pretty sure if he does _she'll_ end up trying to make _him_ feel better, and they're not doing _that_ again. So he stands there and hangs on to her and lets her soak his neck and his shirt, and when the crying winds down she slumps back against the wall and slides down it, until she's heaped on the floor, looking up at him with huge eyes in the shadowy hall. A big questioning look, a _now_-what-do-I-do? look. And Ray's got no fucking idea, so he chickens out and walks to the kitchen, fumbles through the cabinets until he finds some tea to make for her. Fills up the kettle, tries not to freak out at the sound of water running, here, again. Calls out to ask her what she wants in it, gets the milk out and wonders who kept the house up and stocked the fridge but wasn't here to greet her.

He brings her the mug and slides down the opposite wall from her. Her feet aren't quite touching the wall by his side, but his legs are longer than the hall is wide and he ends up with knees bent, which is fine, he's sure not wanting to move to the sofa in the room where the body was.

"Shouldn't we invite your partner in to thaw out?" she says.

"Nah, he's a freak, he's not _happy_ unless he's got icicles in his hair," Ray says. They sit for a while, quietly, and it's weirdly comfortable until Ray realizes there's a favor he needs to ask her for, and he feels like an asshole, but it's not for _him_ really and he's gotta do it.

"Uh, Mrs. Botrelle?" he says.

"Yes?"

"I need you to—look, I dunno if you're gonna be talking to reporters or not. But if you do, or if you talk to _anybody_ about, you know, this whole thing, leave me out of it, okay? Because I'm not me anymore. I mean, I'm not using my old, my own name, 'cause I'm undercover, and it would fu--it would screw things up for the guy I'm filling in for."

"Okay," she says, calm, no questions, and he feels like a moron for scrambling to not say fuck in front of this woman who's been in _prison_\--you think maybe she's _heard_ that one, Ray?

Then she says, out of the shadows, "I'm not me anymore, either," and he tenses up for a second--shit, he thought she was doing a lot better, mentally, does he need to call somebody?--but then she says, "I mean, I was never Mrs. Botrelle. At least not the Mrs. Botrelle I _thought_ I was, because _he_ was never who I thought he was," and oh, okay, she's being symbolic.

"And then I was a cop-murdering bitch, but I was never really that either. And I was a _crazy_ bitch, but that--I wasn't making it up, but I knew I could have _stopped_ it if I tried, you know, put a lid on it, made sense most of the time? I just--I didn't see the point of making the _effort_, where I was, with the needle coming."

"Sure," he says.

"So," she says. "Who's left?"

"Uh. Your maiden name?"

She laughs in the dark. "Maiden was a long time ago. I guess I can just be Beth until I figure something else out. Beth's okay."

"Beth's good."

"Well then," she says. "Who are _you_ now?"

And he's pretty sure that's not exactly what she means, or not _everything_ she means, anyway, but all he can think to say is "Ray Vecchio."

She leans forward, her pale face looming out of the dark at him, and says, "Pleased to meet you." And shakes his hand.

 

When he walks out the door he sees Fraser hanging around near the GTO, and Fraser gives him a tiny nod and goes around with Dief to get in the passenger side. No questions, which is nice.

Ray thinks, suddenly, that until a year ago, when Beth asked him who he was, he could have said, "Stella's husband." And waits for that thought to kick his ass like usual, but it doesn't--it doesn't feel _good_, sure, but it's not as bad as it was.

So he's doing sort of okay, until he starts to open the car door. And thinks that, until a couple of days ago, until he remembered about that note, he could have said, "A pretty good cop."

 

\--END--


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